reflections from Joy Prom 2014: your ministry isn't about you

I was reminded of a sweet lesson last week, as our church held the 10th Joy Prom, a night to celebrate our guests whose differences are more often ignored and an opportunity to live out Luke 14.

This lovely couple asked my friend Sherri Callery to take their picture. All the pictures in this post are courtesy of her skills, love, and generosity!

Actually, the lesson began months earlier.

When the first Joy Prom meetings began, we were newly home from Uganda, as a family of 8 whereas we had been a family of 5 before that trip. Lee and I simply weren't ready to jump in to our old roles, him in charge of facilities and security and me helping Katie with training and volunteer support as well as overall behind-the-scenes execution on the big night.

No, this isn't how our Worship Center usually looks.

We still expected to help as the event got closer and closer, but then Patu had a breathing emergency that was ultimately diagnosed as asthma on the day of the first Joy Prom volunteer training.

He carried that corsage around all night... until he found his lovely date.

Then I was there for the next one, but I had to cut out early as Robbie had thrown up earlier in the day and I didn't want to leave Lee alone with six kids if one was potentially ill.

can your youth pastor pull this outfit off? yeah, I didn't think so. Pastor Bryan rocks.

Then came the day of Joy Prom. I thought I was having a worse time recovering from a tooth extraction than expected but by the time Joy Prom kicked off, I was hit with a bout of what Robbie had earlier in the week... so as the guests and volunteers danced the night away, Lee cancelled our babysitter, and I hung out near a bathroom, watching The West Wing for approximately the millionth time.

hey, Mr. DJ...

Please, don't feel sorry for us, though! We're on the mend, and it was a lesson we needed to learn: that God doesn't need us to do His work.

Smiles all around!

We love to serve, but when we aren't able to do so, God can provide someone else.

Her reaction every time footage of her and her friends showed up on the big screen!

It isn't our ministry.

It's His.

We roll out the red carpet. Literally.

And as the Facebook and Twitter and Instagram posts shared the wonderful stories of Joy Prom 2014, I was sad not to be there, but even more strongly I was once again thankful that God's work in and through and among His people isn't up to me.

Listen y'all, we're Southern Baptist. If we can set aside our hang-ups to show Christ's love to an under-loved population, what might your church need to set aside to do the same?

He is faithful, and He is enough.

Now, enjoy a little bit of the festivities... 

“When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
- Jesus (as recorded in Luke 14:12-14)

our chore charts

When I mentioned these on Facebook, my friends all wanted details and pictures and such. So here goes...

This all started with this post, outlining an amazing tutorial for making chore charts. I used her instructions, though the frames I got were different and the digital papers I used were different and the font I used was different and the magnets I bought from an Etsy store because I like pretty + pictures (plus pictures are easier for kids, especially the non-readers, to understand).

Without further ago, here's the side of our fridge:

Before I cut to close ups, please rest assured that I know that I suck at Mod Podge. I might re-do these later, but I'm in no rush. They aren't perfect, but they work just fine.

The top section is zones. Each week, a different kid is assigned to a different zone. Our zones are front room, hallways, kitchen, family room, sunroom, and yard. (Yes, hallways are small, but tripping over stuff in the hall is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, so it's worth it.)

I bought six name magnets for $7 plus shipping on Etsy.

Then come the child-specific charts, with these magnets, also from Etsy at 20 magnets for $11.50.

 And, yes, Zoe has chores. I do realize she can't walk or sit up independently or crawl, much less make her bed or feed pets or anything like that. But? She's 2.5. And our other kids started doing basic chores at her age. So, she does too. (With help.)

Now the kids get excited about "magnet time!" (Not "chore time," because that's no fun. Obviously.)

I think that's it, but I'm sure I'm probably forgetting something, so let me know if you have any questions!

(Oh, just remembered one detail: I used 3M mounting strips to put the frames on the fridge. See, I told you I'd forget something!)

A how-to guide for hosting a prom for adults with disabilities

A decade ago, our church hosted our first prom for adults with disabilities. It was called the Joy Prom, and after that event, our church began a Sunday school class for that same group. I've written about Joy Prom before here and here and the Joy class here.

This is no small undertaking, so if you're interested in hosting an event like this at your church this spring, then now is the time to start. To help you out, here's the manual that one of our Joy Prom coordinators wrote a few years ago; it has been used by several churches across the country to plan their own events.

Joy Prom Manual

And here's a video I found on YouTube of news coverage from our 2008 prom.


I do want to share one note of caution in planning and executing an event like this, though:

It's very easy to operate from the mindset of "look at this great thing we're going to do for them," setting yourself up as the doers of ministry and them as the receivers. I've seen this become problematic after the event when that mindset continues and can prevent full involvement of "them" as people who can do ministry too.

I would recommend cultivating an attitude of "look at this great night we all get to have together to celebrate life;" then you're talking and thinking about each other as friends and partners in ministry from the beginning.

Because that's who we all are.

need (in)couragement as an ordinary mom of special kids? me, too.

Sometimes when you need a space for encouragement and you can't find one that already exists, you have to carve it out on your own.

That's what me and my friends Brittnie, Tammy, and Heather are doing as we partner with (in)courage to lead the small group "Ordinary Moms, Special Kids."

And, yes, I do need a new headshot, but that's not the point.

All four of us are special needs mamas. Because of that, the leadership for (in)courager groups graciously made us into a bigger facilitator team than usual, allowing four of us to co-lead so that we could love our group well amidst the realities of IEPs and therapies and hospitalizations and homework struggles and and and and... well, all those things that could pull us away from our (in)couraging space for a time.

If you'd like to join us, click here and sign up and then we can add you to the Facebook page where we can build each other up, pray for one another, and share wisdom, tears, and joy in our common yet individually unique journeys of parenting children with special needs.

Because we all need a little (in)couragement, right?

disability & Christ: links from last week

From abp news, Experience on Broadway enriches Baptist couple's calling to special needs advocacy

“Their passion in helping the rest of the world see people with disabilities in a positive way is inspiring,” said Jeannie Troutman, minister to children at First Baptist. “Within our church they have been real advocates for our special needs children.”

Out of Tallahassee, New Sunday morning ministry welcomes kids with special needs,

"We were at a place where we had given up on church. We didn't have a place for our daughter to go on Sunday and hadn't gone to church for eight months," Adams said. "When you're a person of faith, coming to church is detrimental and not being able to do that is heartbreaking."

From Huffington Post, Teen Will Carry Brother With Cerebral Palsy 40 Miles To Send A Powerful Message

The goal of this walk is to get the attention of our up and coming leaders, doctors, engineers, and entrepreneurs and show them the face of Cerebral Palsy and the need for innovative ideas in mobility aides and medical procedures. We need modern equipment that doesn't look medical. We need walkers that can handle playground mulch, ball field gravel, sand at beaches and uneven grass at parks. We need mobility aides and classroom adaptations that work with then newest computer technology. We need handicap accessibility to truly mean accessible, accessible for all.

From The Dallas Daily News, 10 tips for strengthening the relationship between the church and special needs families

People with disabilities can be disruptive or require accommodations the church is not prepared to make. I’ve heard it said that for people with disabilities, the [accessibility] problem at church is not the stairs, but the stares.

 From Tim Challies, The Disabilities Dilemma

Not too long ago a good friend of ours attended an evangelical pastors’ conference to tell people about his ministry to the disabled, to their families, and to their churches. There were nearly one thousand godly, theologically-astute, gospel-enamored leaders in attendance. What an opportunity, right?

As we spoke to our friend in the aftermath of the event, he told us that his booth, located in a prime spot in the busy exhibit hall, had generated a grand total of five conversations—five conversations in three days. Two of those were with inattentive attendees who apparently mistook the display for something else. In an attempt to escape the awkward moment, one of them uttered, “This doesn’t affect me” before turning his back and rushing away.

A final note from Shannon: This affects all of us, if we are in Christ. If you don't think it does, re-read 1 Corinthians 12, Luke 12:12-14, and Psalm 139... or just look around you at the world God calls us to go into with His good news.

If we say that disability doesn't affect us or act in that way, we're saying the gospel is only for people who look or act or behave or think or talk or walk or connect like we do. And? That attitude is simply not biblical.