5 things I've learned in 7 years of special needs ministry #SpnMin #kidmin #church #specialneeds #adoption

/
When we started in special needs ministry, our little family looked like this:


Now our family looks a lot different, and no one would call it "little" anymore.


Between those pictures, we have:

  • welcomed one child via birth and four via adoption.
  • collected a handful of diagnoses: cerebral palsy, HIV, epilepsy, FASD and rheumatoid arthritis.
  • tricked a whole bunch of folks into thinking I'm some sort of expert in the field of special needs ministry and adoption, as evidenced by a growing list of national speaking engagements and consulting agreements and freelance writing opportunities and a couple book proposal requests that I'll be all over once I get 15 minutes to myself, which I expect to happen sometime in 2016 once everyone is in school. 

(Y'all realize I'm just a goofy mom of a wild crew of kids who merely wants to see people of all abilities worshiping God together, right? Because I honestly wear other people's drool more naturally than I wear any expert badge. True story.)

In the years between those pictures, we've learned a few things, so without further ado...

5 things I've learned in 7 years of special needs ministry


1. The only time a one-size-fits-all ministry approach worked was on the cross.

On the cross, Jesus took on all our transgressions to defeat sin and death for us because we were all unable to help ourselves. Elsewhere, Jesus treated (and still treats) every person He met as an individual with immeasurable worth and distinctive needs. In all His interactions throughout scripture and among the testimonies of His people now, it's not about broad strokes of sameness. He was and is both personal and relational. 

What a wonderful model for us to follow as we minister to and with people of all abilities!
(Because it's not about programs; it's about people, amen?)

2. I'm not Jesus. Try as I might, I'm going to get it wrong.

The funny thing about being labeled as an "expert" is that our Sunday mornings look a lot like yours. My family often rolls in late, which I consider a win as long as all eight of us are each wearing two shoes, preferably ones meant to be paired together. I might have systems and spreadsheets and such, but working with families affected by disability means a whole lot of surprises and abandoned plans. 

And sometimes? I screw up. Badly. 

But...

3. God's grace is for all of us.

For my daughter with cerebral palsy, and for her two year old buddies who are learning that Zoe's walker isn't a toy or jungle gym for them. For my child with HIV, and for classmates' parents who were initially concerned about the safety of that kid in their children's Sunday school class. For my son with epilepsy, and for the teacher who messaged me right after his first seizure to assure me that she would learn whatever she needed to so that Robbie could be safe in her class. For the people who immediately and warmly welcome those with disabilities and for the ones who are scared or hesitant or just plain mean. For the churches that say "YES!" and the ones that say, "We don't have a place here for your family." 

For me. And for you.  

4. I'm tired of focusing on the negative stories. 

For me, at least, it's time to shift gears and highlight the churches who are loving well instead of pointing fingers at the ones who are learning. Because, really? We're all learning, and because saying, "You're doing it wrong," doesn't build up the church or change attitudes as much as "Let me show you what has worked for us."

5. There is still work to do, but there is much progress worth celebrating.

In seven years, I can't even begin to describe the difference I've seen in the church's response to people with disabilities, not just around the country but right here in Raleigh where I live and serve. That's exciting, y'all! I truly believe the tide is turning and the Spirit is opening hearts and doors so that the church might include all the parts of its body, as laid out in 1 Corinthians 12.

Yes, there's still more to do. But if there wasn't still work to be done, then we'd be chilling with our Savior in heaven. Because on this side of eternity, we'll never be done.

Isn't it wonderful that we have a great provider - GOD! - so it's not all on our shoulders?


How about you? What have you learned in this area of ministry?