so how did this whole crazy adoption get started? (part 1)
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We always planned to adopt. Eventually.
Our first plans were for domestic adoption of an older child or sibling group, with or without special needs.
As we learned more about orphans with disabilities, though, we realized that the likelihood of having a family - even a foster family - for a child with special needs was slim in many other countries. And the story of Kirill pushed us over the edge to consider international adoption.
In May 2011, we put our plans out there on the interwebs, stating that it would be a few years yet before we adopted. In that post, I wrote these words:
In that post, I also asked, "pray for us as we research a tough topic related to our adoption plans. I wish I could share more than that cryptic comment, but I can't yet, except to say that God has drawn us to consider something we hadn't considered before and that we need to be bathed in prayer." Some friends have asked if we were talking about Zoe Amanda then. The answer? No. We didn't know Zoe Amanda existed then. I don't mind sharing now that what we were considering was adding HIV-positive to the list of special needs we'd be open to in adoption. (By the way, we decided we would be open to that. Here's a link explaining why.)
On January 28, 2012, an old friend from Bible study sent me this Facebook message which began,
It was a lie because I was telling her no. I just was planning to do it in stages.
The next day - January 29 - Jocelyn turned 5. As we celebrated with friends, I mentioned this little girl to them dismissively, saying, "it just wouldn't make sense for us to adopt her."
Lee and I talked later that night. We agreed that the answer was probably no. But we also realized that this lined up with the passions God had given us for adoption and special needs, so we agreed that we should pray about it.
I contacted that friend again, asked for a little more information, and added at the end of the message, "Please pray for us, that God will make it clear how He plans for us to help her - be it through my blog or through welcoming her into our family - and that we would have the confidence based in Him to be obedient if He is calling us to abandon our plans and pursue her adoption."
~+~
And part two will be coming in the morning...
Our first plans were for domestic adoption of an older child or sibling group, with or without special needs.
As we learned more about orphans with disabilities, though, we realized that the likelihood of having a family - even a foster family - for a child with special needs was slim in many other countries. And the story of Kirill pushed us over the edge to consider international adoption.
In May 2011, we put our plans out there on the interwebs, stating that it would be a few years yet before we adopted. In that post, I wrote these words:
After a lot of prayer and research and prayer and conversations and prayer, we're willing to share where we stand in our plans right now. No guarantees that it won’t change, though, because God does his thing (the best thing!) in his time. However, I don’t think it’s unwise to share our plans, just as others aren’t shy about saying “ideally we want two kids” (or one kid or five kids or no kids). We trust that God is sovereign, and we'll be content whether or not his plans are the same as ours.On January 21, 2012, I blogged that "we decided that we would move toward selling and wait to begin the adoption process until we're in a new home." (In case you're wondering, the house isn't on the market yet, but it will be soon.)
In that post, I also asked, "pray for us as we research a tough topic related to our adoption plans. I wish I could share more than that cryptic comment, but I can't yet, except to say that God has drawn us to consider something we hadn't considered before and that we need to be bathed in prayer." Some friends have asked if we were talking about Zoe Amanda then. The answer? No. We didn't know Zoe Amanda existed then. I don't mind sharing now that what we were considering was adding HIV-positive to the list of special needs we'd be open to in adoption. (By the way, we decided we would be open to that. Here's a link explaining why.)
On January 28, 2012, an old friend from Bible study sent me this Facebook message which began,
You had mentioned a while ago that you might be thinking about adopting a child with special needs...I know of a 3 month old baby girl who is up for adoption in Taiwan with a brain injury that will most likely result in some form of CP. I have no idea if this is something you're even thinking about, but I can give you more info if you are.In my response, I said I'd talk to Lee about it. In my recollection of the message, I thought I agreed to pray about it, but I just checked - I didn't. Not then. Honestly, I didn't plan to. I planned to talk to Lee, agree with him that the timing wasn't write, and ask this friend how I could spread the word. In my message to her, I wrote out the reasons that it wouldn't make sense and ended with a lie: "I'm definitely not saying no, just sharing with you where we stand."
It was a lie because I was telling her no. I just was planning to do it in stages.
The next day - January 29 - Jocelyn turned 5. As we celebrated with friends, I mentioned this little girl to them dismissively, saying, "it just wouldn't make sense for us to adopt her."
Lee and I talked later that night. We agreed that the answer was probably no. But we also realized that this lined up with the passions God had given us for adoption and special needs, so we agreed that we should pray about it.
I contacted that friend again, asked for a little more information, and added at the end of the message, "Please pray for us, that God will make it clear how He plans for us to help her - be it through my blog or through welcoming her into our family - and that we would have the confidence based in Him to be obedient if He is calling us to abandon our plans and pursue her adoption."
~+~
And part two will be coming in the morning...