Speechless: A review and giveaway of mother's e-book about God's grace the first year following her son's diagnosis
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Most published stories written by parents of children with autism benefit from the perspective of at least a few years in autism-land. However, that can also limit their ability to write with freshness about the first days and months and year of life with a diagnosis.
Sandra Peoples doesn't have the experience of autism parenting in the long-term, but that's what makes her e-book Speechless: Finding Grace in My Son's Autism helpful. I don't have a child with autism, and as such, I'm limited in my ability to understand the realities of families with a new diagnosis. I can sympathize, certainly, but empathizing is a little more difficult because I haven't walked that road. Sandra and her husband Lee are walking it, and Speechless invites you to come alongside them through meetings and doctor's appointments and financial decisions and education transitions.
Because Speechless only describes their first year, emotions are fresh and honest without the passage of time to dull or sugarcoat them. For example, when they received the diagnosis for James, she admits that it felt as if her life had stopped but that no one around her seemed to notice. As they moved on from that moment, the book moves on too, reading somewhat like a retrospective blog with the end point known but the chapters written in chronological order and in varying lengths.
She admits to prayers that the diagnosis would not be autism and conflicts with her husband about treatment, but she also describes how they have better understood God through the diagnosis and how He has ultimately strengthened their marriage. She lays herself bare, particularly when describing what she calls "the sin of entitlement":
More than just a personal story, Sandra aims higher, letting us see this as a God story and pointing the reader to Him. Here a a few examples of that:
For me and for readers of this blog, the chapter "James at Church" provides great insight for what we do, and I am grateful that Sandra included this blog in her list of resources. (Thanks, Sandra!)
While I did find the book helpful, I do want to share two areas that I think could have used a little more polishing. Both are minor, but I think it would be unfair not to mention them:
If you'd like to get your own copy, here are two ways to do it:
Sandra Peoples doesn't have the experience of autism parenting in the long-term, but that's what makes her e-book Speechless: Finding Grace in My Son's Autism helpful. I don't have a child with autism, and as such, I'm limited in my ability to understand the realities of families with a new diagnosis. I can sympathize, certainly, but empathizing is a little more difficult because I haven't walked that road. Sandra and her husband Lee are walking it, and Speechless invites you to come alongside them through meetings and doctor's appointments and financial decisions and education transitions.Because Speechless only describes their first year, emotions are fresh and honest without the passage of time to dull or sugarcoat them. For example, when they received the diagnosis for James, she admits that it felt as if her life had stopped but that no one around her seemed to notice. As they moved on from that moment, the book moves on too, reading somewhat like a retrospective blog with the end point known but the chapters written in chronological order and in varying lengths.
She admits to prayers that the diagnosis would not be autism and conflicts with her husband about treatment, but she also describes how they have better understood God through the diagnosis and how He has ultimately strengthened their marriage. She lays herself bare, particularly when describing what she calls "the sin of entitlement":
Essentially, I [had] viewed God as a professor [before James was diagnosed]. The Bible was the syllabus. It told me what to do and I did it. Therefore, I earned a grade, or in this case, a reward. My reward should have been typical children. (If I’m being really honest, I felt I deserved exceptional children. (p. 19)
More than just a personal story, Sandra aims higher, letting us see this as a God story and pointing the reader to Him. Here a a few examples of that:
- "...this book is mostly about God... His grace has never been more real to me than in this last year." (p. 10)
- "Multiple times every day I had to repeat to myself, 'God loves me. God loves James.' Again and again I said it. I said it until I believed it." (p. 20)
- "I also have a choice—believe the truth that God loves me, loves my son, and is working for our good or don't believe." (p. 78)
For me and for readers of this blog, the chapter "James at Church" provides great insight for what we do, and I am grateful that Sandra included this blog in her list of resources. (Thanks, Sandra!)
While I did find the book helpful, I do want to share two areas that I think could have used a little more polishing. Both are minor, but I think it would be unfair not to mention them:
- Use of statistics: If you've read this blog long, you know I'm a stickler for citations. If you mention a statistic without a source, I'm the first one to comment with something like, "That's interesting. Can you tell me where you found that?" On pages 11 and 26, Sandra uses two of the most pervasive yet least reliable statistics in special needs ministry: that 90% of families with a disability don't attend church (no good research exists on this, but the best available - from The National Organization on Disability - suggests that more than 40% do attend religious services, though that includes other religions than Christianity and that rate is less than the attendance of those without disabilities) and that 90% of parents with a child with autism divorce (not true. while some research supports a higher rate of divorce for parents who have a child with autism, those figures don't even come close to touching 90%). I don't fault Sandra for repeating such oft-quoted percentages, but I have to point out their inaccuracy.
- Objectivity about treatment choices: While she makes it clear that treatment decisions are complex and family-specific, her explanations of their choices sometimes feels more prescriptive than simply descriptive. She doesn't outright say, "We did this, and you should too," but she does write about what has worked for them with such understandable passion that objectivity becomes difficult. I don't consider this to be a major flaw, but it's worth mentioning, especially because Defeat Autism Now! - which has been a helpful group for the Peoples family - isn't universally loved by everyone in the autism community. (If you're not a fan of DAN, though, that shouldn't steer you away from the book; I just wanted to give you the heads up!)
If you'd like to get your own copy, here are two ways to do it:
- Win your own copy here! Yep, Sandra is offering one reader of this blog a free copy of the pdf version of this e-book. Just leave a comment, and you're entered!
- Buy it! Here's a link to the website for the book, which includes purchasing options, including an Amazon link to the Kindle version.
And, if you weren't already intrigued enough to consider getting it, please know that the income generated by book sales will go toward the cost of James' therapy and treatments and supplements. Given that most of that is not covered by insurance, every little bit counts!