the funny thing about plans
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I wasn't planning to post today, but I fell asleep while my husband was bathing our little ones and now, in the wee hours of the morning, I am awake. At 9:00am I will arrive at the hospital to visit with an old youth group student who just gave birth this week, and then I'll check in at 9:30am for surgery, which will be at 11:30. If all goes as planned, we're looking at one hour of surgery and two hours in recovery, putting me home by about 3:00 or 3:30.
If all goes as planned...
As I wrote those words, I realize that they're odd in the context of the past few years of my life. Precious little has gone according to our plans, if I'm honest with you. We had planned to wait until we had been married five years before we had children; we were expecting Jocelyn before our first wedding anniversary. We had planned to spend our 20s traversing rock faces as we climbed and even slept against the mountain; the bone damage that occurred in the year before I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis squashed those plans. (I kid you not that the picture below shows our plans for sleeping during multi-day climbs ... note that is NOT us, just a photo I found online to show you what I mean.)
We planned to stay in our current house forever; now we're preparing to list it for sale next month and move to a wheelchair-accessible home closer to our church so we can have all of the families from Access over to our house and host Bible studies for our kids in our home. We planned to have two kids biologically and then two or three via adoption from foster care; I spent yesterday afternoon looking at faces on the Reece's Rainbow site of little girls with Down syndrome in Russia who don't have families, one of whom we hope will join our family in two or three years. And while we still plan to adopt from foster care after that, we know enough now to know that our plans will always be flexible.
I like plans, so that last statement would make me a little twitchy if I didn't know that God's plans will always prevail and are always best. If our plans had won out, neither of these two would be part of our lives.
Oh, yes. The mohawk and the pigtails. Don't those pictures just make you want to melt, or am I just biased? (Don't answer if it's the latter!)
If life had gone as we had planned it, our family picture wouldn't look like this...
A life by my plans wouldn't have included RA or the surgery I need today because of RA. It wouldn't have included the couple of other chronic autoimmune disorders I have, the other two surgeries I've needed since our wedding day, or the medical bills we now budget for.
And my plans wouldn't have included not being able to eat after midnight. (Yes, I am hungry and thirsty right now, thanks for asking. I can't have anything from now until after surgery. I know I'll probably be queasy on pain meds after I wake up, but I'm still thinking about keeping a list for Lee of the foods and drinks I want post-surgery: an orange slurpee from Sheetz, Goodberry's mint chocolate chip frozen custard, Bo Berry biscuits from Bojangles, a mix of vanilla and cookies n cream and a dash of tropical sorbet frozen yogurt from YoMo with Nerds candy on top, a skinny vanilla latte with a pump of chai flavor from Starbucks... what's that you say? Why, yes, I do have a sweet tooth. Why do you ask?)
God's plans are better than mine. Always. That would be true even if I didn't have a husband who serves me beyond what I deserve and if I didn't have mohawk boy and pigtail girl. When I can see how God's plans will work for my welfare, they do.
And when I can't, they still will.
If all goes as planned...
As I wrote those words, I realize that they're odd in the context of the past few years of my life. Precious little has gone according to our plans, if I'm honest with you. We had planned to wait until we had been married five years before we had children; we were expecting Jocelyn before our first wedding anniversary. We had planned to spend our 20s traversing rock faces as we climbed and even slept against the mountain; the bone damage that occurred in the year before I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis squashed those plans. (I kid you not that the picture below shows our plans for sleeping during multi-day climbs ... note that is NOT us, just a photo I found online to show you what I mean.)
We planned to stay in our current house forever; now we're preparing to list it for sale next month and move to a wheelchair-accessible home closer to our church so we can have all of the families from Access over to our house and host Bible studies for our kids in our home. We planned to have two kids biologically and then two or three via adoption from foster care; I spent yesterday afternoon looking at faces on the Reece's Rainbow site of little girls with Down syndrome in Russia who don't have families, one of whom we hope will join our family in two or three years. And while we still plan to adopt from foster care after that, we know enough now to know that our plans will always be flexible.
I like plans, so that last statement would make me a little twitchy if I didn't know that God's plans will always prevail and are always best. If our plans had won out, neither of these two would be part of our lives.
Oh, yes. The mohawk and the pigtails. Don't those pictures just make you want to melt, or am I just biased? (Don't answer if it's the latter!)
If life had gone as we had planned it, our family picture wouldn't look like this...
A life by my plans wouldn't have included RA or the surgery I need today because of RA. It wouldn't have included the couple of other chronic autoimmune disorders I have, the other two surgeries I've needed since our wedding day, or the medical bills we now budget for.
And my plans wouldn't have included not being able to eat after midnight. (Yes, I am hungry and thirsty right now, thanks for asking. I can't have anything from now until after surgery. I know I'll probably be queasy on pain meds after I wake up, but I'm still thinking about keeping a list for Lee of the foods and drinks I want post-surgery: an orange slurpee from Sheetz, Goodberry's mint chocolate chip frozen custard, Bo Berry biscuits from Bojangles, a mix of vanilla and cookies n cream and a dash of tropical sorbet frozen yogurt from YoMo with Nerds candy on top, a skinny vanilla latte with a pump of chai flavor from Starbucks... what's that you say? Why, yes, I do have a sweet tooth. Why do you ask?)
God's plans are better than mine. Always. That would be true even if I didn't have a husband who serves me beyond what I deserve and if I didn't have mohawk boy and pigtail girl. When I can see how God's plans will work for my welfare, they do.
And when I can't, they still will.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11