Special needs ministry Q&A: Age-appropriate classes, high-sensory youth programs, and adult involvement
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Jury duty took the full day yesterday, but I knew I would eventually be dismissed because it was a medical malpractice case in which one of the key witnesses was my former neurosurgeon. (As one of my friends with rheumatoid arthritis put it on Facebook yesterday, "Haha you and a medical case? What were the chances you wouldn't know the doctor?" Yes, my friends, there are some benefits of having a couple of autoimmune diseases and being the rare bird who has unusual complications with each one... you know most doctors in town and are rarely eligible for a medical malpractice jury!)
Meanwhile, the friend who made that comment just has a rheumatologist. She hasn't collected the array of specialists I have. Each case is a little different, and hers and mine haven't followed the same course, even though we have the same disease, similar treatment, and even the same doctor for a while.
I bring that up because, as I dive into Tammy's questions from last week, I want you to be reminded that each situation is unique. More often than you'd probably like, I'm going to answer, "Well, it depends." When I was a brand-new special education teacher, I scoured book after book and website after website looking for the perfect answer I could apply universally in my classes. Did I find it? Nope. And neither will you as you look for the perfect answer that you can apply across the board to every person with special needs at your church.
Remember, it's not the disability you're serving with, it's a person. Ministry isn't formulaic; it's relational. When we see the person and not just the diagnosis, it becomes obvious that our answers won't be one size fits all. Jesus wasn't predictable. When we draw from him - his love, compassion, and strength - our ministry responses probably won't be either, because viewing each situation through his eyes will allow us to see the nuances that he created in each one. While I would give my son a band-aid for a scrape on his knee, I wouldn't try to slap a band-aid on his mouth if he were vomiting. No single solution works in all cases.
And one last disclaimer: some of my answers might raise more questions. Please feel free to ask them! I love blogging more when it engages others; without discussion, it sometimes feels like I'm shouting into the mysterious beyond. (Brownie points for whoever can identify that movie reference!)
Now, onward to the questions...
Connie Hutchinson, the Director of Disabilities Ministry at Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton, CA, and the mother of an adult daughter with special needs, shared a story at the Accessibility Summit this year about when an older man in a mixed age class continuing pursued her then teenage daughter romantically. He - having developed physically and sexually at the same rate as other men - desired companionship; however, not having developed intellectually at the same rate, he didn't understand that inappropriateness of his advances due to the age difference. This story illustrates why I definitely advise against adults and kids being mixed into one birth through elderly special needs class and why I advise wisdom for other wide groupings as well.
At our church, we have a separate class for adult, and some older teens do attend that class. When we add another separate class - which we will probably need to do during one of our services, because the children's ministry program then can be overwhelming for kids with sensory processing disorders - it will be for elementary students. This will leave a gap in preschool, which isn't always a problem because the differences among kids isn't always as obvious then, and for those who do need early support, we either accommodate the setting with a one-on-one buddy or modify it by keeping a child in a younger class, if the child's size isn't too large compared to the younger kids. (We only consider younger placements in preschool and for special circumstances; it's preferable to include a child in a same-age class whenever possible.) And it will also leave a gap for middle school and lower high school, which we do plan to fill eventually. We're just not able to fill that need yet, and we're trying to be wise about what where we say "yes, NOW!" and where we say, "yes, but not yet." (I hate that last answer, but it's impossible to give all "yes, NOW!" answers without depleting your ministry. Aim for growth to fulfill the future yeses; be willing to say "not yet" so you can execute today's yeses and have a foundation to build on for tomorrow's yeses.)
I would work to creatively figure out a way to include that teen without substantially changing the program. Sometimes it is wise to change the program, but youth typically like the loud music and eliminating all loud music could exclude many other kids (at least it would at our church), so how can we include all of them in unique ways? Is there an area of the room that isn't as loud? Could he wear earplugs or some other device to muffle the noise so he could stay in the room? Can you have loud music at the beginning and then drop the volume so that he could enter at that point? Is there a quiet room nearby where he could go with supervision (at least two adults) if the sensory input is becoming too overwhelming? If a separate setting is deemed necessary for that portion of the youth program, what other portions can be adapted to include him? (In other words, if you decide that you'll say no to inclusion in the instance described, where can you yes?)
We have had some older kids with special needs help as teachers in younger classes, but they need a role of more than just a student in the class because the size of a teen isn't appropriate for him to be a member of a preschool class, even if he is cognitively functioning at that level.
Until then, could they fill another role? We have several adults with special needs who joyfully hand out bulletins as worshipers enter each service. They get the opportunity to contribute to the body in a meaningful way, and they love it! It also sends a strong message to every person who enters our church, showing that we acknowledge the value God has given each person and that we offer a place for each one to use his or her gifts for the greater good of the body. (Check out 1 Corinthians 12, starting in verse 12. It's a good passage for thinking about this sort of thing!)
~+~
I assume one aspect to each question: prayer. Pray. Pray. And then? Pray. You can't figure out the perfect answers for your situation, and neither can I. But God? He knows the answers before you ask.
I'll be prayerfully answering questions for the next couple days. Any other questions? Any different answers? (Don't feel like you'll step on my toes if you disagree - your perspective is valuable, and my answers aren't flawless!)
And thanks for reading. Seriously. I am passionate about special needs ministry, and I love writing about it. I would do so even if no one else showed up, but I'm so encouraged that you do come visit my corner of blogland. Thanks. You're a blessing.
Meanwhile, the friend who made that comment just has a rheumatologist. She hasn't collected the array of specialists I have. Each case is a little different, and hers and mine haven't followed the same course, even though we have the same disease, similar treatment, and even the same doctor for a while.
I bring that up because, as I dive into Tammy's questions from last week, I want you to be reminded that each situation is unique. More often than you'd probably like, I'm going to answer, "Well, it depends." When I was a brand-new special education teacher, I scoured book after book and website after website looking for the perfect answer I could apply universally in my classes. Did I find it? Nope. And neither will you as you look for the perfect answer that you can apply across the board to every person with special needs at your church.
Remember, it's not the disability you're serving with, it's a person. Ministry isn't formulaic; it's relational. When we see the person and not just the diagnosis, it becomes obvious that our answers won't be one size fits all. Jesus wasn't predictable. When we draw from him - his love, compassion, and strength - our ministry responses probably won't be either, because viewing each situation through his eyes will allow us to see the nuances that he created in each one. While I would give my son a band-aid for a scrape on his knee, I wouldn't try to slap a band-aid on his mouth if he were vomiting. No single solution works in all cases.
And one last disclaimer: some of my answers might raise more questions. Please feel free to ask them! I love blogging more when it engages others; without discussion, it sometimes feels like I'm shouting into the mysterious beyond. (Brownie points for whoever can identify that movie reference!)
Now, onward to the questions...
how are age groups decided for classes of people w/intellectual disabilities?It depends. (See? Can't say I didn't warn you!) If we're talking about a separate Sunday school class for people with disabilities, there are two important things you must remember: (1) intellectual disabilities do not always impact physical development (unless the intellectual disability is the result of a condition affecting both) and (2) intellectual disabilities do not necessarily affect the onset of sexual maturity. Most folks at our church are too quick to picture a sweet young boy with Down syndrome as our image of special needs without remembering that Down syndrome is only one area of special needs and that the boy will grow up. (Also, just as my sweet girl with no disabilities can be disobedient, it's condescending to think that the "sweet boy with Down syndrome" is always sweet. He's a boy, first and foremost, which means he has a range of dispositions that include sweet and not so sweet too!) It's easier to get churches on-board to welcome that "sweet" boy and his family; it's harder to get churches to welcome him as an adult. That's not okay, but it's the reality I've seen, so I don't want to sugar coat the realities here.
Connie Hutchinson, the Director of Disabilities Ministry at Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton, CA, and the mother of an adult daughter with special needs, shared a story at the Accessibility Summit this year about when an older man in a mixed age class continuing pursued her then teenage daughter romantically. He - having developed physically and sexually at the same rate as other men - desired companionship; however, not having developed intellectually at the same rate, he didn't understand that inappropriateness of his advances due to the age difference. This story illustrates why I definitely advise against adults and kids being mixed into one birth through elderly special needs class and why I advise wisdom for other wide groupings as well.
At our church, we have a separate class for adult, and some older teens do attend that class. When we add another separate class - which we will probably need to do during one of our services, because the children's ministry program then can be overwhelming for kids with sensory processing disorders - it will be for elementary students. This will leave a gap in preschool, which isn't always a problem because the differences among kids isn't always as obvious then, and for those who do need early support, we either accommodate the setting with a one-on-one buddy or modify it by keeping a child in a younger class, if the child's size isn't too large compared to the younger kids. (We only consider younger placements in preschool and for special circumstances; it's preferable to include a child in a same-age class whenever possible.) And it will also leave a gap for middle school and lower high school, which we do plan to fill eventually. We're just not able to fill that need yet, and we're trying to be wise about what where we say "yes, NOW!" and where we say, "yes, but not yet." (I hate that last answer, but it's impossible to give all "yes, NOW!" answers without depleting your ministry. Aim for growth to fulfill the future yeses; be willing to say "not yet" so you can execute today's yeses and have a foundation to build on for tomorrow's yeses.)
what if a teen w/a preschool level of functioning & sensory processing difficulty cannot handle the loud music of the youth program? Should the other youth have to have their music volume lowered? should the teen attend a younger aged class? should the teen be moved outside the classroom where it is quieter?wants to attend a grade school, or pre-school class?This kind of scenario is why we're planning to begin a separate class for elementary-aged students with special needs during our third service. (Right now, it's a "yes, but not yet" but it's fast becoming a "yes, SOON!") The typical classes during that hour start in small groups and then combine into a large-group setting that is loud and busy. We're okay with creating a different setting because we have more inclusive options for families during our other services (and because we also offer inclusion during that hour too, though it can be hard for some kids, given the setting).
I would work to creatively figure out a way to include that teen without substantially changing the program. Sometimes it is wise to change the program, but youth typically like the loud music and eliminating all loud music could exclude many other kids (at least it would at our church), so how can we include all of them in unique ways? Is there an area of the room that isn't as loud? Could he wear earplugs or some other device to muffle the noise so he could stay in the room? Can you have loud music at the beginning and then drop the volume so that he could enter at that point? Is there a quiet room nearby where he could go with supervision (at least two adults) if the sensory input is becoming too overwhelming? If a separate setting is deemed necessary for that portion of the youth program, what other portions can be adapted to include him? (In other words, if you decide that you'll say no to inclusion in the instance described, where can you yes?)
We have had some older kids with special needs help as teachers in younger classes, but they need a role of more than just a student in the class because the size of a teen isn't appropriate for him to be a member of a preschool class, even if he is cognitively functioning at that level.
what if an adult w/low level physical & intellectual abilities wants to come and we don't have an adult spec. needs class? (they don't fit in with children or youth or adults).Do you want my honest gut reaction? Start a class. As I've examined special needs ministries across the country, I've found that adult ministries are rare. Most occur when members of the children's special needs ministry grow up. My church is a little odd in that our adult ministry to include those with disabilities was more established and developed that our kids' ministry; that's rarely the case. If you have one adult who is interested, it probably won't take much outreach to find a few more adults to make up a class. Few churches are stepping up to include adults with disabilities. Be the one in your area that steps up where others step back or turn away.
Until then, could they fill another role? We have several adults with special needs who joyfully hand out bulletins as worshipers enter each service. They get the opportunity to contribute to the body in a meaningful way, and they love it! It also sends a strong message to every person who enters our church, showing that we acknowledge the value God has given each person and that we offer a place for each one to use his or her gifts for the greater good of the body. (Check out 1 Corinthians 12, starting in verse 12. It's a good passage for thinking about this sort of thing!)
~+~
I assume one aspect to each question: prayer. Pray. Pray. And then? Pray. You can't figure out the perfect answers for your situation, and neither can I. But God? He knows the answers before you ask.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" {Matthew 7:7-11}
I'll be prayerfully answering questions for the next couple days. Any other questions? Any different answers? (Don't feel like you'll step on my toes if you disagree - your perspective is valuable, and my answers aren't flawless!)
And thanks for reading. Seriously. I am passionate about special needs ministry, and I love writing about it. I would do so even if no one else showed up, but I'm so encouraged that you do come visit my corner of blogland. Thanks. You're a blessing.