The YES

Several weeks ago, a guy I respect in disability ministry wrote a series of posts about an informal online survey he did with parents of kids with special needs. Michael Woods - who is also the dad of three boys with autism spectrum disorders - is skilled at fostering community, so he was in a good position to conduct that survey, yielding far more responses than I would have gotten if I attempted the same thing! Of the 136 who responded, 25% attended a church with a special needs ministry program, 20% attended a church without a formal or defined program, and 55% didn't attend at all. He commended the churches in that 20% group for welcoming families, even without a program, He also suggested in the next post that even if a church is finding ways to welcome people with special needs, it's still better to have a program than not to have one.

I respectfully disagree about that last opinion. (However, he raises good points, so I think it's a good idea to follow those links to see what he has to say!)

Before I get into why, though, let me share another post with you from another guy who I respect in disability ministry. What Dr. Grcevich wrote was a little different, though: a proposition that any church, even one who doesn't "do programs," can find a way to welcome families with special needs.

I'm going to chime in now with a couple thoughts. First, I think it may be healthier in some churches not to have a defined program. I've seen the definition of a program change the mindset of the church; sometimes the presence of a program makes the body of Christ in that church start thinking it's ________ program staff/volunteers' job to welcome those folks instead of it's on all of us to show love. Please don't get me wrong; it's not the program that causes the problem. It's the perception of the people. But it happens. Also, I've seen programs become a way of excluding people with special needs instead of including them. Once again, it's not the presence of the program that causes this division, but it happens.

Conversely, though, programs communicate something that a more organic model often doesn't. In the special needs world, lots of programs exist to coordinate health care and education and other aspects of life with a disability, so individuals with special needs (and, where applicable, their families and/or caregivers) may expect programs. Additionally, it defines a commitment and often communicates that commitment in a different way. For example, my husband and I found our current church through its website, and that site - like many church websites - has a place to click to find out about ministries offered there. If a special needs ministry is listed in that place or visibly integrated into pages for other ministries, that communicates something that a simple statement of welcome might not.

As for the churches who were somehow including children with special needs without having formal programs, maybe they're doing the simple church thing that was discussed in Dr. G's post. Maybe not. Maybe they're doing special needs ministry well without a program in place. Maybe they're not.

What I do know is that they are doing something right, whether or not they have a program. Those families showed up, and there was a place for their kid(s). In whatever way they did it, those churches said yes.

That's what special needs ministry is. It's not programs and policies and intake forms and respite nights and curriculum and modifications and all those trappings that support it. (Not to say, though, that those things aren't important. They are, but they only matter after the yes has been established.) As I've written previously in one of my all-time favorite posts, special needs ministry isn't just another program. Special needs ministry is, at its core, a willingness to say yes when that family calls or shows up and when that adult with a disability comes through your doors.

Most special needs ministry efforts are not elegant in the beginning. Actually, drop that last part: Most special needs ministry efforts are not elegant. (And maybe we should drop "most" as well?)

It's the yes. Yes, this is worth it. Yes, we want to share the love of Jesus with all people, regardless of disabilities and special needs. Yes, we care. Yes, we'll figure it out, even if it's a little scary and confusing.

The yes matters.