on showing grace to others (and a confession of a time when I didn't)

While I'm writing this post with a special needs ministry slant, it's a much broader issue of Christian community that isn't rooted in any one ministry area. It's about love and compassion and sincerity. It's about knowing who we are and whose we are and acting on that knowledge.

So what is it?

Showing grace to one another, including ourselves.

Here's an example from a special needs ministry conference I attended: In one session, a woman was sitting in front of me who seemed jovial enough as we started. Then, throughout the session, she made seemingly incessant comments to the presenter.

Now, please understand that my church in South Texas was of the old school, Southern Baptist variety in which a hearty "amen!" was not inappropriate to call out from time to time. (Granted, as a gal with backgrounds in Moravian, Lutheran, and Episcopalian churches, I never called out, but I was not uncomfortable with those who did!) Therefore, the first few affirming comments from the woman didn't bother me, but as the session progressed, I found myself getting more and more annoyed.

It wasn't until the presenter glanced my way as I was fully rolling my eyes that I realized the absurdity of it: here I was, as a special needs ministry coordinator, at a special needs ministry conference, with my panties in a bunch because someone else dared to act in a different way from me.

Could the woman have had a disability, something like ADHD or Asperger's? Possibly. Or maybe not. Maybe she was just tired and found it easier to stay engaged if she did so verbally. Maybe she thought she was encouraging the speaker. (And she might have been, because the presenter never seemed annoyed like I was.) Or maybe she was just incredibly friendly.

And me? I was a jerk.

Sure, I was tired. But I was also selfish and hypocritical and arrogant and condescending.

Instead of treating her behavior with grace and appreciating her input, I became irritated. And I wasn't even concerned about my rotten attitude until I thought that the presenter caught me rolling my eyes.

Thankfully, the woman in front of me didn't realize I was ever annoyed. But I'm glad God showed me how ugly my attitude was, because it did two things for me:

First, it helped me understand why some folks in the church can be resistant to special needs ministry. Worship (or simply learning) alongside someone who is different from us forces us to adapt. And sometimes it's easier to be selfish and hypocritical than compassionate and grace-filled

And, second, it allowed me the opportunity to show grace to myself. I can humbly acknowledge sinful attitudes in my life, confess them to God in repentance, and move on to the next thing He has in store without camping out in the land of shame.

And I can learn from it (and hopefully you can too!) so that next time I can be the one who is thankful for those who aren't like me, instead of irritated by them and their rightful inclusion in the body of Christ.