Good grad school student, not so good wife
/
As I headed out of the house to meet with my graduate thesis advisor a week and a half ago, I had everything in order. I was trying to print a couple things before I left, though, because having hard copies of work makes me feel happy. I was taking my laptop with me, and I had emailed my professor the files. Hard copies weren't really needed, but I wanted them. I would have printed them the night before, but we had run out of printer paper.
Lee, who took the afternoon off from work so I could go to my meeting, also served me by picking up paper so I could print. I put the paper in the printer, pressed the button to resume printing, and ran upstairs to get ready for my meeting. Lee served the kids lunch while I rushed around.
I came downstairs, and nothing was in the printer tray. It turns out that we had no more ink. Lee had ordered some a couple days before, but we didn't have it yet.
And I, who was prepared even without the hard copies, blew up. I vented. I fumed. Instead of being thankful for Lee's selflessness in taking care of my paper and ink needs and in caring for the kids and in esteeming my schoolwork above his job that afternoon, I tore him apart. I denigrated* the very man I'm called to respect and build up.
I would like to say that I shaped up before I left, but I didn't. I slammed doors. I acted with less maturity than our kids do when they throw tantrums. And that's what it was. A tantrum.
As I had a drive ahead of me to campus (because I'm a distance ed student who takes online classes rather than a local one), I began thinking. I began praying. And these verses came to mind.
Was there joy in any aspect of my behavior or attitude? No.
How about peace? No.
Had I been patient? No.
Kind? No.
Did I show goodness to my husband (or to my kids, who were observers)? No.
Did I demonstrate faithfulness to God or Lee? No.
How about gentleness? No.
Self-control? Absolutely not.
It wasn't long before I was repentant, seeking forgiveness from God and from Lee. My meeting with my thesis advisor went well, but I had already blown it when it really mattered.
I'm so thankful for forgiveness.
And I'm thankful to be part of a community of believers in which we can learn from each other instead of all having to sin in the same ways. Learn from me. Don't blow it when it matters so that you can excel in secondary things.
(*And, on a less serious note, using the word "denigrate" above made me think about this quote, which is from Bob Newhart and was included in a book
I just read. I actually do like country music, but this quote made me laugh: "I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.'")
Lee, who took the afternoon off from work so I could go to my meeting, also served me by picking up paper so I could print. I put the paper in the printer, pressed the button to resume printing, and ran upstairs to get ready for my meeting. Lee served the kids lunch while I rushed around.
I came downstairs, and nothing was in the printer tray. It turns out that we had no more ink. Lee had ordered some a couple days before, but we didn't have it yet.
And I, who was prepared even without the hard copies, blew up. I vented. I fumed. Instead of being thankful for Lee's selflessness in taking care of my paper and ink needs and in caring for the kids and in esteeming my schoolwork above his job that afternoon, I tore him apart. I denigrated* the very man I'm called to respect and build up.
I would like to say that I shaped up before I left, but I didn't. I slammed doors. I acted with less maturity than our kids do when they throw tantrums. And that's what it was. A tantrum.
As I had a drive ahead of me to campus (because I'm a distance ed student who takes online classes rather than a local one), I began thinking. I began praying. And these verses came to mind.
Had I been loving? No.But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)
Was there joy in any aspect of my behavior or attitude? No.
How about peace? No.
Had I been patient? No.
Kind? No.
Did I show goodness to my husband (or to my kids, who were observers)? No.
Did I demonstrate faithfulness to God or Lee? No.
How about gentleness? No.
Self-control? Absolutely not.
It wasn't long before I was repentant, seeking forgiveness from God and from Lee. My meeting with my thesis advisor went well, but I had already blown it when it really mattered.
I'm so thankful for forgiveness.
And I'm thankful to be part of a community of believers in which we can learn from each other instead of all having to sin in the same ways. Learn from me. Don't blow it when it matters so that you can excel in secondary things.
(*And, on a less serious note, using the word "denigrate" above made me think about this quote, which is from Bob Newhart and was included in a book
I just read. I actually do like country music, but this quote made me laugh: "I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.'")