Enough.
/
I ordered pizza tonight. And I almost posted something on Facebook about the yummy goodness that is Domino’s (seriously, if you haven’t tried their new crust and sauce, you need to!), but I didn’t. Why? (I’m so glad you asked!)
Because every single time in the past two years that I have posted something like that, I have gotten a comment (sometimes online, sometimes in person) from someone telling me that I’m killing myself with stuff like that and insinuating that I must have brought my autoimmune disorders on myself by eating such junk. Or, instead of insinuating anything, the commenter informs me that I would be well if I stopped consuming anything that has ________ (it varies, so take your pick from some of the suggestions I can remember: sugar, fat, processed items, dairy, salt, meat, tomatoes, aspartame, dark-colored sodas…) Or, in response to my mentioning one of my specialists, someone suggests that my doctors are too caught up in the world of illnesses to care about seeing anyone get well and that I would could be well if only I would see their preferred doctor (once again, take your pick: chiropractor, homeopathic practitioner, acupuncturist, naturopath, herbalist…). Or, in a couple of particularly bewildering cases, I’ve been advised that I would be well if I just prayed a little more.
Nope, I’m not kidding. It’s happened more times than I can count from more people than I can remember at this point. And it’s hurtful.
It’s hurtful because almost every one of those comments has come from someone who didn’t first pause to ask me a single question about my health, someone who chose assumptions and judgment over friendship and compassion. It’s hurtful because I have been blessed with a phenomenal team of specialists who do care deeply about their patients and who have worked together (and continue to do so) to figure out how to treat my health holistically, so it saddens me to hear or read people denigrate them. It’s hurtful because I would not have chosen the diseases I live with, and it hurts to be blamed for them (although, given how much God has taught me through them, I am inexpressibly thankful for them). It’s hurtful because I love God, so it hurts to hear someone warp His message by simplifying it into “health and wealth” prosperity gospel mumbo-jumbo. And it’s hurtful because, simply put, it’s kicking a gal while she’s down.
I’m not being passive aggressive and trying to call out any specific person or people by posting this; it’s just happened enough times for me to say, “Enough!” Enough already. Seriously. (I truly don't think that any of the hurtful comments had malicious intent behind them. But they did have thoughtlessness behind them. Which can be just as bad. So, enough.) I’m just saying, “Think before you comment.” Please.
And I’m saying that the blogging here will resume as previously scheduled. I’m ashamed to say that one reason that the blog has been so quiet is that I allowed the hurt to keep me from sharing our prayer requests and praises with friends who do care and who do think before they post. If God brings it to our lives, then – within reason – we won’t stay quiet because we believe that one purpose He has in all this is for us to share it with others to glorify Him. That’s our aim, and we’d rather not leave it up to the rocks.
(Oh, and here are a handful of clarifying notes that aren’t necessary but that I feel like adding anyway: We have gone down a more natural path for some aspects of my care, and some of my daily pills are supplements, so I have nothing against alternative medicine. We rarely eat fast food or any other food that we don’t make ourselves, and we’re big into eating whole foods rather than processed pseudofoods. We have prayed and continue to pray about every single health decision, including which types of specialists I see, and we feel that God has us exactly where He intends for us to be. And while my health isn’t ideal right now, which I’ll post more about in the near future, I am in a much better place than I was last summer, thanks be to God! And one final note: the pizza was very yummy.)
Because every single time in the past two years that I have posted something like that, I have gotten a comment (sometimes online, sometimes in person) from someone telling me that I’m killing myself with stuff like that and insinuating that I must have brought my autoimmune disorders on myself by eating such junk. Or, instead of insinuating anything, the commenter informs me that I would be well if I stopped consuming anything that has ________ (it varies, so take your pick from some of the suggestions I can remember: sugar, fat, processed items, dairy, salt, meat, tomatoes, aspartame, dark-colored sodas…) Or, in response to my mentioning one of my specialists, someone suggests that my doctors are too caught up in the world of illnesses to care about seeing anyone get well and that I would could be well if only I would see their preferred doctor (once again, take your pick: chiropractor, homeopathic practitioner, acupuncturist, naturopath, herbalist…). Or, in a couple of particularly bewildering cases, I’ve been advised that I would be well if I just prayed a little more.
Nope, I’m not kidding. It’s happened more times than I can count from more people than I can remember at this point. And it’s hurtful.
It’s hurtful because almost every one of those comments has come from someone who didn’t first pause to ask me a single question about my health, someone who chose assumptions and judgment over friendship and compassion. It’s hurtful because I have been blessed with a phenomenal team of specialists who do care deeply about their patients and who have worked together (and continue to do so) to figure out how to treat my health holistically, so it saddens me to hear or read people denigrate them. It’s hurtful because I would not have chosen the diseases I live with, and it hurts to be blamed for them (although, given how much God has taught me through them, I am inexpressibly thankful for them). It’s hurtful because I love God, so it hurts to hear someone warp His message by simplifying it into “health and wealth” prosperity gospel mumbo-jumbo. And it’s hurtful because, simply put, it’s kicking a gal while she’s down.
I’m not being passive aggressive and trying to call out any specific person or people by posting this; it’s just happened enough times for me to say, “Enough!” Enough already. Seriously. (I truly don't think that any of the hurtful comments had malicious intent behind them. But they did have thoughtlessness behind them. Which can be just as bad. So, enough.) I’m just saying, “Think before you comment.” Please.
And I’m saying that the blogging here will resume as previously scheduled. I’m ashamed to say that one reason that the blog has been so quiet is that I allowed the hurt to keep me from sharing our prayer requests and praises with friends who do care and who do think before they post. If God brings it to our lives, then – within reason – we won’t stay quiet because we believe that one purpose He has in all this is for us to share it with others to glorify Him. That’s our aim, and we’d rather not leave it up to the rocks.
(Oh, and here are a handful of clarifying notes that aren’t necessary but that I feel like adding anyway: We have gone down a more natural path for some aspects of my care, and some of my daily pills are supplements, so I have nothing against alternative medicine. We rarely eat fast food or any other food that we don’t make ourselves, and we’re big into eating whole foods rather than processed pseudofoods. We have prayed and continue to pray about every single health decision, including which types of specialists I see, and we feel that God has us exactly where He intends for us to be. And while my health isn’t ideal right now, which I’ll post more about in the near future, I am in a much better place than I was last summer, thanks be to God! And one final note: the pizza was very yummy.)